Do you remember your first day of school? High school? Job? University? It’s always a difficult task when you know absolutely no one and it’s usually a day you dread. All you want is to have one person that you can ask all the silly little questions to survive that initial day and that’s how […]
Getting To Know You… — Factors of 30
Do you remember your first day of school? High school? Job? University? It’s always a difficult task when you know absolutely no one and it’s usually a day you dread. All you want is to have one person that you can ask all the silly little questions to survive that initial day and that’s how a long term friendship sometimes builds its foundations. So, while this is all well and good on a friendship level, what about when you’re going on a first date?
I have previously written about online dating and how that has changed over recent times with a few dos and don’ts added in. But what happens when you actually find someone half decent that seems to have a little more substance to them? I suppose depending on which platform you use, you may know a few things about the person or you may know nothing.
So, where do you begin? Besides the formalities of asking someone how are they, it’s sometimes difficult to “sell” yourself to someone else to gauge their interest so that they keep on talking to you. I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked that very question and then after a reply, their next question/statement is about my sex life? Really guys? Is that the best you can come up with? You need to at least do a bit of ground work. Or maybe I am asking too much?
I would suggest reading the person’s profile, particularly if it has their likes and dislikes on it or hobbies and start there. Once you find that common ground, you won’t have to worry about when you go on that first date as you can always revert back to that topic if you find that the conversation is becoming stagnant. What it will also show is that you’ve taken time to read someone’s profile and have a genuine interest in them.
I won’t lie, given I work as a nurse and come across all walks of life on a daily basis, I generally don’t have an issue at maintaining conversation. However, for those who may be a little more on the introverted side, perhaps an activity as a first date, for example mini golf or going to the movies is a good option, that way you have something else to discuss and it may help you to relax a little more and relieve the pressure of constantly thinking of new conversation topics.
And of course, maybe find out what they’re looking for early on. ONS? FWB? Relationship? At least that way everyone has the same expectations. Too many times, I have felt chemistry with a guy and then go on a few dates, only to be ghosted by them down the track because they don’t have the guts to tell you that they don’t want anything serious at the moment. I’m an adult, and can handle the truth. Trust me guys, there are women out there who will be after the exact same thing as you!
Or then again, perhaps you’ll find that no matter how attractive you find them in 2D, it’s not worth pursuing a second date or even going out on the first date, in which case, it’s ok to go back to the drawing board but at least give the other person the courtesy to tell them that.
Anyway, that’s only my 2c worth. I realise it’s been a long time between posts but hopefully they will be a bit more frequent this year.
Until next time,
Luce x
Procrastination is certainly one of my largest faults. I did it through high school, university (though always getting all the important tasks done) and more recently I was in the contemplative phase of writing this blog. A friend had actually suggested it to me two years ago when I was considering writing a novel, but procrastination won out again.
Reflecting on my life, I have made the assumption that there are probably quite a few people out there who, like me, have on occasion thought, what the hell am I doing with my life? I’m currently in my thirties and this is certainly not what I would have predicted ten years ago. I think what has most surprised me are my ever growing list of pet peeves that I am pretty sure I would not have in my twenties. Therefore “Factors of 30” seemed like quite an apt name for this blog.
So, what’s on my agenda for 2017? For starters, I’m about to embark on a major lifestyle adjustment, with the view to lose weight. I refuse to use the word journey because, to me, that indicates that there is an end destination, whereas I believe that this is creating habits that will set me up for the rest of my life.
In your twenties, it was quite an easy process, with minimal thought being required when wishing to undertake a lifestyle change. Once in your thirties, however, I’m surprised at how much mental preparation is necessary. From the time I decided to give myself the ass kicking that it truly needed, I had to wrap my head around the effort that goes into meal preparation as opposed to standing in front of the fridge and grabbing whatever jumps out at me. While also having to take into account how hard it will be considering my line of work (nurse in an emergency department), it has been quite a process.
And so it begins. I had to have my photo taken as well as my measurements and while that wasn’t the part that put salt in the wound, finding out that my body age currently sits at 57 was certainly a wake up call that I needed. I know this is not going to be a simple process but I’m ready to give it a red-hot crack and hopefully achieve the results I desire.
Until next time,
Luce x
Factors of 30 