Do you remember your first day of school? High school? Job? University? It’s always a difficult task when you know absolutely no one and it’s usually a day you dread. All you want is to have one person that you can ask all the silly little questions to survive that initial day and that’s how […]
Getting To Know You… — Factors of 30
Do you remember your first day of school? High school? Job? University? It’s always a difficult task when you know absolutely no one and it’s usually a day you dread. All you want is to have one person that you can ask all the silly little questions to survive that initial day and that’s how a long term friendship sometimes builds its foundations. So, while this is all well and good on a friendship level, what about when you’re going on a first date?
I have previously written about online dating and how that has changed over recent times with a few dos and don’ts added in. But what happens when you actually find someone half decent that seems to have a little more substance to them? I suppose depending on which platform you use, you may know a few things about the person or you may know nothing.
So, where do you begin? Besides the formalities of asking someone how are they, it’s sometimes difficult to “sell” yourself to someone else to gauge their interest so that they keep on talking to you. I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked that very question and then after a reply, their next question/statement is about my sex life? Really guys? Is that the best you can come up with? You need to at least do a bit of ground work. Or maybe I am asking too much?
I would suggest reading the person’s profile, particularly if it has their likes and dislikes on it or hobbies and start there. Once you find that common ground, you won’t have to worry about when you go on that first date as you can always revert back to that topic if you find that the conversation is becoming stagnant. What it will also show is that you’ve taken time to read someone’s profile and have a genuine interest in them.
I won’t lie, given I work as a nurse and come across all walks of life on a daily basis, I generally don’t have an issue at maintaining conversation. However, for those who may be a little more on the introverted side, perhaps an activity as a first date, for example mini golf or going to the movies is a good option, that way you have something else to discuss and it may help you to relax a little more and relieve the pressure of constantly thinking of new conversation topics.
And of course, maybe find out what they’re looking for early on. ONS? FWB? Relationship? At least that way everyone has the same expectations. Too many times, I have felt chemistry with a guy and then go on a few dates, only to be ghosted by them down the track because they don’t have the guts to tell you that they don’t want anything serious at the moment. I’m an adult, and can handle the truth. Trust me guys, there are women out there who will be after the exact same thing as you!
Or then again, perhaps you’ll find that no matter how attractive you find them in 2D, it’s not worth pursuing a second date or even going out on the first date, in which case, it’s ok to go back to the drawing board but at least give the other person the courtesy to tell them that.
Anyway, that’s only my 2c worth. I realise it’s been a long time between posts but hopefully they will be a bit more frequent this year.
Until next time,
Luce x
“A long, long time ago, I can still remember when there was no such thing as the internet or online dating”. One would venture out on a Friday or Saturday night (sometimes both) with friends, perhaps have a few drinks, a dance and then maybe you might meet an eligible suitor, and if you’re lucky, exchange phone numbers. Fast forward and things are a lot different. Life is busy so it is easy to find yourself spending hours upon hours swiping left or right, finally matching with someone who can say more than “Hey” as their opening line to find that they disappear after a few messages back and forth never to be heard of again. With my working hours as they are, there seems to be little point in finding myself a pen pal and would much prefer to have a face to face conversation to see if there is any spark. What I find reprehensible is the way that people (and in this instance, men) message you on these apps. I was so shocked once that I made the point of saying to the particular man I was talking to at the time, that if we had met out at a pub or something, would he actually say these things to my face? The quick response was that of sheer embarrassment and prophetic apologies ensued.
So, to this end, I thought I would provide some handy tips regarding online dating in 2019 and how to present yourself on your profile and interacting with potential dates. Let’s be honest, you may roll your eyes and groan but thanks to experience, felt it was necessary to share.
If you’re a guy:
And for the ladies:
I’ll be honest with you, my last boyfriend was via online dating and it was actually really easy. We had chatted beforehand so we had the added bonus of knowing a bit about each other before we met, which I think is one of the perks! Don’t be ashamed to say you met online, it’s the social norm these days.
Good luck everyone and happy fishing/buzzing/swiping and if it doesn’t work out, keep persisting. I think the best thing that I have found with this online process is that it helps narrow down what I am actually looking for in a perspective partner so will definitely know when I’ve found my true match!
Remember, you’re worth it!
Luce x
For those who are wondering what I do as a profession, I’m a registered nurse in the Emergency Department (ED) of a busy regional hospital in Australia. Recently, I needed the services of my workplace and my colleagues came to my aid. It certainly is a different experience when you are the one on the other side of those hospital doors.
A very close friend came to my rescue on that Monday night, which is notorious for being one of the busiest times in ED. We arrived around 10:30pm and the waiting room was full with a few people waiting to be seen by the nurse at triage. Due to the amount of pain I was in, it was obviously quite clear that I probably needed to be seen sooner rather than later. I’m not going to bore you with anymore of the medical details because they are actually irrelevant to the reason that I’m writing this particular post.
From behind the blue curtain, it was very interesting to hear what other patients say while their doctor or nurse isn’t within earshot. There is a lot of complaining about how long test results take to come back (actually out of our control), the apparent inadequate pain relief (whilst laughing or talking on the phone), and the demands patients make with respect to wanting something to eat and drink because they haven’t “eaten all day”.
For those that don’t know, in Australia, we are fortunate to have the Medicare system, a healthcare initiative provided by the government which allows the Australian population access to medical services. In the public healthcare sector, this means that patients have no out-of-pocket expenses. However, one of the downfalls is waiting times for patients in a variety of settings e.g. surgical waiting lists, outpatient specialist appointments and the emergency department on a busy night. Anyway, sorry, I’ll get back on topic.
So, to the members of the public who want answers and are sometimes waiting for hours to be seen, there’s a reason for that. The department is busy. And the best part is, you’re not requiring immediate life saving treatment, so use that notion to provide some sort of comfort. Yes, there may be people who arrive after you and are taken through for treatment before you, which is I’m sure very frustrating and may make you feel like you’ve been forgotten about, but this is not the case. Again, this is why we have the Australasian Triage Scale (Google it, quite an interesting read for those who want to know more).
The medical staff are extremely busy 95% of the time and they are doing their absolute best to help you in whatever way they can and ideally give you an answer but sometimes this is just not feasible. Shift work, for those who have never experienced it, means that there are lots of times we are unable to attend special family occasions, we are constantly sleep deprived and our social lives suffer. Nevertheless, we put a smile on our face and turn up to work because we love what we do and want to help you. Hard to believe that I have to say this, however simple manners goes a long way, saying thank you doesn’t cost a cent.
Finally, to my wonderful colleagues. You are truly superstars. There are many things we simply accept as the norm, that we shouldn’t, but we do. We work as an amazing team and support each other, and that is what makes it that much easier to pull on the uniform and walk through those doors every day. In case you don’t hear it today, thank you. Thank you for your tireless efforts in helping people and going above and beyond on a daily basis. What we do is pretty fucking special and we are all superheroes in our own right. You don’t need to see the cape to know that you are extraordinary!
Until next time.
Luce x
Okay, so a couple of days ago I bit the bullet and actually published my first post. Hard to believe that I wrote that six months ago in January. Ah January, when it was summer, daylight savings was in full swing and it was warm. Fast forward six months and I find myself walking to work and it’s -3 and all I could think of was my upcoming annual leave which includes a beach trip.
A few things have happened since January. I guess for starters the weight loss thing has been great. The program I have been doing has definitely done its job and while it certainly has had its challenges, I’ve been able to reap the rewards. I don’t want to ramble on and on about how much weight I have lost as everyone is generally the first to make comments on the physical changes but not much is said about the mental changes that can occur or more surprisingly that haven’t.
I recently posted a photo with a recent transformation photo (see below). The comments were overwhelming and it was amazing how many people had actually been following this little weight loss mission who perhaps I didn’t think really paid attention. There were lots of comments about how different I must feel etc, but to be honest, I don’t feel like I’ve changed that much. Has my fitness improved? Yes, it certainly has. Has my clothing size changed? Yes. However, when I look back at the photo on the left to the one on the right, it’s actually hard to say whether or not my mindset has also taken that giant step. I have been reassured that maybe that will all happen when I reach my first goal weight (~4kg away), so in the meantime be sure to watch this space as I’m sure there are numerous musings that shall come to fruition in the meantime.
Luce x
Procrastination is certainly one of my largest faults. I did it through high school, university (though always getting all the important tasks done) and more recently I was in the contemplative phase of writing this blog. A friend had actually suggested it to me two years ago when I was considering writing a novel, but procrastination won out again.
Reflecting on my life, I have made the assumption that there are probably quite a few people out there who, like me, have on occasion thought, what the hell am I doing with my life? I’m currently in my thirties and this is certainly not what I would have predicted ten years ago. I think what has most surprised me are my ever growing list of pet peeves that I am pretty sure I would not have in my twenties. Therefore “Factors of 30” seemed like quite an apt name for this blog.
So, what’s on my agenda for 2017? For starters, I’m about to embark on a major lifestyle adjustment, with the view to lose weight. I refuse to use the word journey because, to me, that indicates that there is an end destination, whereas I believe that this is creating habits that will set me up for the rest of my life.
In your twenties, it was quite an easy process, with minimal thought being required when wishing to undertake a lifestyle change. Once in your thirties, however, I’m surprised at how much mental preparation is necessary. From the time I decided to give myself the ass kicking that it truly needed, I had to wrap my head around the effort that goes into meal preparation as opposed to standing in front of the fridge and grabbing whatever jumps out at me. While also having to take into account how hard it will be considering my line of work (nurse in an emergency department), it has been quite a process.
And so it begins. I had to have my photo taken as well as my measurements and while that wasn’t the part that put salt in the wound, finding out that my body age currently sits at 57 was certainly a wake up call that I needed. I know this is not going to be a simple process but I’m ready to give it a red-hot crack and hopefully achieve the results I desire.
Until next time,
Luce x
Factors of 30 