Do you remember your first day of school? High school? Job? University? It’s always a difficult task when you know absolutely no one and it’s usually a day you dread. All you want is to have one person that you can ask all the silly little questions to survive that initial day and that’s how a long term friendship sometimes builds its foundations. So, while this is all well and good on a friendship level, what about when you’re going on a first date?

I have previously written about online dating and how that has changed over recent times with a few dos and don’ts added in. But what happens when you actually find someone half decent that seems to have a little more substance to them? I suppose depending on which platform you use, you may know a few things about the person or you may know nothing.

So, where do you begin? Besides the formalities of asking someone how are they, it’s sometimes difficult to “sell” yourself to someone else to gauge their interest so that they keep on talking to you. I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked that very question and then after a reply, their next question/statement is about my sex life? Really guys? Is that the best you can come up with? You need to at least do a bit of ground work. Or maybe I am asking too much?

I would suggest reading the person’s profile, particularly if it has their likes and dislikes on it or hobbies and start there. Once you find that common ground, you won’t have to worry about when you go on that first date as you can always revert back to that topic if you find that the conversation is becoming stagnant. What it will also show is that you’ve taken time to read someone’s profile and have a genuine interest in them.

I won’t lie, given I work as a nurse and come across all walks of life on a daily basis, I generally don’t have an issue at maintaining conversation. However, for those who may be a little more on the introverted side, perhaps an activity as a first date, for example mini golf or going to the movies is a good option, that way you have something else to discuss and it may help you to relax a little more and relieve the pressure of constantly thinking of new conversation topics.

And of course, maybe find out what they’re looking for early on. ONS? FWB? Relationship? At least that way everyone has the same expectations. Too many times, I have felt chemistry with a guy and then go on a few dates, only to be ghosted by them down the track because they don’t have the guts to tell you that they don’t want anything serious at the moment. I’m an adult, and can handle the truth. Trust me guys, there are women out there who will be after the exact same thing as you!

Or then again, perhaps you’ll find that no matter how attractive you find them in 2D, it’s not worth pursuing a second date or even going out on the first date, in which case, it’s ok to go back to the drawing board but at least give the other person the courtesy to tell them that.

Anyway, that’s only my 2c worth. I realise it’s been a long time between posts but hopefully they will be a bit more frequent this year.

Until next time,

Luce x