“A long, long time ago, I can still remember when there was no such thing as the internet or online dating”. One would venture out on a Friday or Saturday night (sometimes both) with friends, perhaps have a few drinks, a dance and then maybe you might meet an eligible suitor, and if you’re lucky, exchange phone numbers. Fast forward and things are a lot different. Life is busy so it is easy to find yourself spending hours upon hours swiping left or right, finally matching with someone who can say more than “Hey” as their opening line to find that they disappear after a few messages back and forth never to be heard of again. With my working hours as they are, there seems to be little point in finding myself a pen pal and would much prefer to have a face to face conversation to see if there is any spark.  What I find reprehensible is the way that people (and in this instance, men) message you on these apps. I was so shocked once that I made the point of saying to the particular man I was talking to at the time, that if we had met out at a pub or something, would he actually say these things to my face? The quick response was that of sheer embarrassment and prophetic apologies ensued.

So, to this end, I thought I would provide some handy tips regarding online dating in 2019 and how to present yourself on your profile and interacting with potential dates. Let’s be honest, you may roll your eyes and groan but thanks to experience, felt it was necessary to share.

If you’re a guy:

• Make sure that we can actually see your face on your profile. The number of times that I have scrolled through photos and they all have the guy wearing sunglasses, I basically disregard them straight away.
• Group photos as every single photo are frustrating. We have no idea what you actually look like. I get it, unlike the female Instagram generation who have a million selfies or solo shots, guys generally don’t take those photos. However, there is a way around it. Perhaps put some emojis over the faces of your mates so that we can figure out who you are!
• In this day and age, there are updates to apps constantly and some give the opportunity to add more information. So, it pays every now and then to update your profile particularly in the “What are you looking for” section so that we don’t waste the precious time of both parties doing the ground work only to find you want two completely different outcomes.
• When you start a conversation, and perhaps if you’re the shy and quiet type, show that you’ve read the profile and ask a question about it. We love that!
• If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it!

And for the ladies:

• Yes we all love filters and to be honest if I could have a constant filter on my face for at least 10 hours of the day, that would be great! However, we know they aren’t a true representation of our appearance and sometimes hide our best features. You’d be surprised, the parts of ourselves that we may dislike the most, someone else may like. Well, that’s been my experience so far. So, put up a natural looking pic in the mix, it may pay dividends.
• Think of these profiles like speed dating, therefore no lengthy descriptions because no one is going to want to read them, so try and keep it short and sweet.
• Don’t let anyone speak to you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, delete that shit and move on! There is someone out there that will treat you with respect, make you laugh and give you those butterflies that we all desire.
• If you plan to meet up with someone, make sure it’s something that you’re comfortable with. A day date is perfect when you’re not sure and particularly if you are new to online dating. No doubt, you’ve been messaging your friends about the whole process (if you’re anything like me!), so make sure you let someone know where you’re going etc just to be safe.
• Yep and finally, just like I wrote for the lads, the same applies to the ladies. If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it!

I’ll be honest with you, my last boyfriend was via online dating and it was actually really easy. We had chatted beforehand so we had the added bonus of knowing a bit about each other before we met, which I think is one of the perks! Don’t be ashamed to say you met online, it’s the social norm these days.

Good luck everyone and happy fishing/buzzing/swiping and if it doesn’t work out, keep persisting. I think the best thing that I have found with this online process is that it helps narrow down what I am actually looking for in a perspective partner so will definitely know when I’ve found my true match!

Remember, you’re worth it!

Luce x

Image courtesy of https://www.cnet.com/pictures/best-dating-apps/